For more jokes, see the link below:
http://www.boyscouttrail.com/boy-scouts/boy-scout-jokes.asp
There was a little boy who
lived in a far away land. Close to the boy's home, there was a tall
mountain, always covered in snow at the top. Also at the top of the
mountain, there was an ancient monastery where ancient monks lived.
Sometimes,
the little boy, as he was riding his tricycle around his yard, would
look up at the monastery on the tall mountain and wonder what it was
like up there.
One day, when the wind was blowing down off the
mountain, the air turned quite cold and the little boy could hear a very
strange noise on the wind. It was coming from the monastery! He could
not figure out what could possibly be making such a strange noise and
he was curious.
So, the little boy made a peanut butter sandwich,
hopped on his tricycle and started his ride up to the monastery. It
took him hours and hours, but he finally made it to the top. He bravely
pounded on the massive door to the monastery and the head monk opened
the door.
"Hello, Mr. Monk, sir. Down at my home in the valley
below, I heard a very strange noise coming from your monastery. Could
you tell me what it is?"
"I'm sorry," replied the head monk, "I can't tell you. You aren't a monk."
Sadly,
the little boy got back on his tricycle and rode all the way home, in a
very foul and frustrated mood. He really did want to know what was
making that noise.
The wind did not blow down off the mountain
again until a couple years later. The boy was a bit bigger and stronger
now and now rode around town on his bicycle.
As luck would have
it, he was out riding when the wind blew down off the mountain, the air
turned quite cold, and he heard a very strange noise on the wind. It
was coming from the monastery! He could not figure out what could
possibly be making such a strange noise and he was curious.
So,
the bigger boy made a ham and cheese sandwich, hopped on his bicycle and
started his ride up to the monastery. It took him hours, but he
finally made it to the top. He pounded on the massive door to the
monastery and the head monk opened the door.
"Hey, Mr. Monk.
Down at my home in the valley below, I heard a very strange noise coming
from your monastery. Could you tell me what it is?"
"I'm sorry," replied the head monk, "I can't tell you. You aren't a monk."
Sadly,
the big boy got back on his bicycle and rode all the way home, in a
very foul and frustrated mood. He really did want to know what was
making that noise.
The wind did not blow down off the mountain
again until a couple years later. The boy had grown into a strapping
youth now and rode around town on his motorcycle.
As luck would
have it, he was out riding when the wind blew down off the mountain, the
air turned quite cold, and he heard a very strange noise on the wind.
It was coming from the monastery! He could not figure out what could
possibly be making such a strange noise and he was curious.
So,
the strapping youth grabbed a slice of pizza, hopped on his motorcycle
and started his ride up to the monastery. It took him 30 minutes, but
he finally made it to the top. He pounded on the massive door to the
monastery and the head monk opened the door.
"Yo, Mr. Monk, dude.
Down at my home in the valley below, I heard a very strange noise
coming from your monastery. Could you tell me what it is?"
"I'm sorry," replied the head monk, "I can't tell you. You aren't a monk."
Sadly,
the strapping youth got back on his motorcycle and rode all the way
home, in a very foul and frustrated mood. He really did want to know
what was making that noise.
The wind did not blow down off the
mountain again until a couple years later. The boy was now a young man
and often rode around in his new convertible sportscar.
As luck
would have it, he was out riding when the wind blew down off the
mountain, the air turned quite cold, and he heard a very strange noise
on the wind. It was coming from the monastery! He could not figure out
what could possibly be making such a strange noise and he was curious.
So,
the young man bought a burger at a fast food place, got in his
convertible sportscar, and started his ride up to the monastery. It
took him 20 minutes, but he finally made it to the top. He pounded on
the massive door to the monastery and the head monk opened the door.
"Mr.
Monk. Down at my home in the valley below, I heard a very strange
noise coming from your monastery. Could you tell me what it is?"
"I'm sorry," replied the head monk, "I can't tell you. You aren't a monk."
Sadly,
the young man got back in his convertible sportscar and rode all the
way home, in a very foul and frustrated mood. He really did want to
know what was making that noise.
That night, he thought and
thought about the very strange noise and how he just had to know what
caused it. So, he resolved to do something about it the next day.
The
next day, he got in his convertible sportscar and raced up the
mountain, slammed on his brakes, and skidded to a stop right in front of
the massive door to the monastery.
He honked the horn of his convertible sportscar until the head monk finally opened the door.
"Alright, Mr. Monk, I want to know what is making that very strange noise coming from you monastery!"
"I'm sorry," replied the head monk, "I can't tell you. You aren't a monk."
"Well, then can I become a monk?"
"Why
certainly! It is quite easy. You must travel the earth and count the
number of blades of grass in every field and the number of grains of
sand on every beach. When you return with your answer, then you shall be
a monk."
So the young man left the monastery and travelled the
earth. For years and years he counted the blades of grass and grains of
sand, until one day he had finally finished. He made his way slowly back
to the monastery and found the head monk.
"Oh, Mr. Monk, I have
travelled the earth these past years, counting the blades of grass and
grains of sand. I finally know that there are 123,123,123,123,123 blades
of grass in the fields and 123,123,123,123,123 grains of sand on the
beaches and I would like to become a monk."
So the man became a
monk. At last, he would now be able to find out the source of that very
strange noise coming from the monastery.
"Mr. Monk, what is the noise coming from the monastery?" asked the new monk.
The
head monk replied, "The source is too complicated to describe in words.
I am afraid that you must see it for yourself to truly understand it.
This key will show you the answer you seek."
"Take this key to
the deepest, darkest corner of the coldest, dampest room in the
dirtiest, filthiest cavern under the monastery. There you will find a
long corridor. At the end of the corridor is a door and through the door
is the thing that makes the noise."
Well, of course the new monk
went immediately to the deepest, darkest corner of the coldest, dampest
room in the dirtiest, filthiest cavern under the monastery and there he
did indeed find the long corridor. He walked down the corridor until
he could see the door at the end.
Unfortunately, there were
three magical fires that never go out blocking the man from the door.
He decided to jump the fires to reach the door. The man made sure the
key was secure in his hand, took a running charge at the first fire and
leapt!
Over the first fire he flew, but he dropped the key. The
man leapt back over the fire, ran all the way back down the long
corridor, out of the deepest, darkest corner of the coldest, dampest
room in the dirtiest, filthiest cavern under the monastery and back to
the head monk.
"Oh, Mr. Monk! I am so sorry! I went to the
deepest, darkest corner of the coldest, dampest room in the dirtiest,
filthiest cavern under the monastery, down the long corridor to the
door, but there were magical fires and I dropped the key in the first
one as I leapt over it."
"Do not worry, for there is another key
and you must overcome tests on your way to enlightenment. The second
key, however is far, far away in Canada."
The new monk left the monastery and traveled to Canada. It took many years because he had no money, being a monk and all.
Eventually,
he arrived in Canada and managed to track down the key to the door. The
monk then had to make the return journey equally as painstakingly, but
finally he arrived back at the monastery. Down into the deepest,
darkest corner of the coldest, dampest room in the dirtiest, filthiest
cavern under the monastery he went, until he found the long corridor.
The three magical fires were in front of him as he took a running start.
Over the first fire went the monk, key still in hand!
Over the second fire went the monk, key still- RATS!
He
had dropped the key in the second fire. The monk leapt back over the
second fire, back over the first fire, back down the long corridor he
walked and out of the deepest, darkest corner of the coldest, dampest
room in the dirtiest, filthiest cavern under the monastery. The monk
went back to the head monk.
"Oh, Mr. Monk! I am so sorry! I went
to the deepest, darkest corner of the coldest, dampest room in the
dirtiest, filthiest cavern under the monastery, down the long corridor
to the door, but there were magical fires and I dropped the key in the
second one as I leapt over it."
"Do not worry, for there is one
more key and we must all overcome tests on our way to enlightenment. The
third key, however is far, far away in Australia."
The monk left the monastery and traveled to Australia. It took many years because he had no money being a monk and all.
Eventually
he arrived in Australia and managed to track down the key to the door.
The monk then had to make the return journey equally as painstakingly,
but finally he arrived back at the monastery. By this time, he was
quite an old monk.
Down into the deepest, darkest corner of the
coldest, dampest room in the dirtiest, filthiest cavern under the
monastery he went, until he found the long corridor. The three magical
fires were in front of him as he took a running start.
Over the first fire went the quite old monk, key still in hand!
Over the second fire went the quite old monk, key still in hand!
Over the THIRD fire went the quite old monk, key still in hand!
He
had made it! He'd made the jumps and here he was standing outside the
door with the answer to his question. Finally, finally, after so many,
many, many years of wanting to know what was making the strange noise,
he would know. The answer lay through the door in front of him and he
could at last be at peace with himself.
Slowly, the quite old
monk slid the key into the lock. Turning the key a slight 'click' was to
be heard as the lock moved back allowing the quite old monk to open the
door. He pushed the door open and stepped inside.
Shock and amazement came over him as he finally realized the answer to his question!
"Do you want me to tell you what it was?"
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you. You aren't a monk."
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
How to
How to make fire starters
Ingredients:
= Lint from the dryer
= Paraffin wax
= Egg carton
Directions:
- Boil a pot of water
- Put the paraffin wax in a smaller metal container
- Put the container in the pot to melt the wax
- Split up the lint and put a little bit in each container, enough to cover the bottom
- Put melted wax in each container
- Wait for the wax to harden completely
- Cut one out when you want to light it. A 4 oz. block of wax makes 8 fire starters
How to survive Bristlecone
1. Check to make sure everything is still there every once in a while
2. Wear proper hiking boots
3. Bring more than 1 first aid kit
4. Come prepared with skits and campfire stories
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5. Ignore what the staff says, bring your insect repellent to Outpost or your face will be a mess of bites.
6. If your team gets a totem, just give it to your most responsible person or it WILL be lost.
Ingredients:
= Lint from the dryer
= Paraffin wax
= Egg carton
Directions:
- Boil a pot of water
- Put the paraffin wax in a smaller metal container
- Put the container in the pot to melt the wax
- Split up the lint and put a little bit in each container, enough to cover the bottom
- Put melted wax in each container
- Wait for the wax to harden completely
- Cut one out when you want to light it. A 4 oz. block of wax makes 8 fire starters
How to survive Bristlecone
1. Check to make sure everything is still there every once in a while
2. Wear proper hiking boots
3. Bring more than 1 first aid kit
4. Come prepared with skits and campfire stories
5. Ignore what the staff says, bring your insect repellent to Outpost or your face will be a mess of bites.
6. If your team gets a totem, just give it to your most responsible person or it WILL be lost.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
jokes 1-3
One day, a Boy Scout troop went into the woods for a camp out. after they have dinner, they have a campfire. As they start roasting marshmallows, a purple-spotted monster crashes into the camp and eats everyone except for one scout. This scout goes to the park ranger's office and tells him what happened.
"You're lying. Now tell me where the rest of the troop really is."
"I'm not lying! That was the whole troop and nothing but the troop."
How to troll your friends at a campout:
1. Find out where the firewood is being kept.
2. Pour water into the box, making sure all the wood is soaked.
3. Enjoy watching your friends try unsuccessfully to keep the fire going.
Alternate methods:
1. Find your friend's tent.
2. Locate the zipper and tie them together.
3. Enjoy watching your friends try to open their tent.
10 places never to camp at:
1. Underwater
2. Outer space
3. Forest fire
4. Next to "No Trespassing" sign
5. Pool of acid
6. Middle of Sahara Desert
7. On a mountain during a thunderstorm
8. Crabby neighbor's backyard
9. Active volcano
10. Middle of soccer field during the game
"You're lying. Now tell me where the rest of the troop really is."
"I'm not lying! That was the whole troop and nothing but the troop."
How to troll your friends at a campout:
1. Find out where the firewood is being kept.
2. Pour water into the box, making sure all the wood is soaked.
3. Enjoy watching your friends try unsuccessfully to keep the fire going.
Alternate methods:
1. Find your friend's tent.
2. Locate the zipper and tie them together.
3. Enjoy watching your friends try to open their tent.
10 places never to camp at:
1. Underwater
2. Outer space
3. Forest fire
4. Next to "No Trespassing" sign
5. Pool of acid
6. Middle of Sahara Desert
7. On a mountain during a thunderstorm
8. Crabby neighbor's backyard
9. Active volcano
10. Middle of soccer field during the game
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